Cease and Desist Letter to an Ex — Free Template
After a breakup, repeated calls, messages, visits or posts from an ex can leave you feeling unable to move on. A cease and desist letter to an ex states clearly that the relationship and the contact are over, lists what must stop, and creates a written record if you later need help from police or a court.
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Free to preview[Your full name or business name]
[Your mailing address]
October 15, 2026
[Who the letter is to]
Re: Cease and desist — Continuing to contact me after being told to stop
Dear [Who the letter is to],
I am writing to formally demand that you stop the conduct described below. Since approximately [When the conduct started (approximately)], you have engaged in the following: Continuing to contact me after being told to stop.
[What they have been doing]
This conduct is unwelcome and unauthorized, and it must stop immediately. I specifically ask that you:
[What you want them to do]
Please confirm in writing, within 10 days of the date of this letter (by October 25, 2026), that you have done so and that the conduct will not continue.
I have kept records of this conduct, and I am keeping a copy of this letter and proof of delivery. If the conduct continues or I do not receive your written confirmation by that date, I intend to pursue the remedies available to me, which may include reporting the matter to the appropriate authorities or filing a claim in court.
I would prefer to resolve this without further action. Please direct any response to me in writing at the address above.
Sincerely,
[Your full name or business name]
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Be direct and leave no room for misunderstanding
With an ex, mixed messages can keep the contact going. Your letter should state plainly that you want no further contact, without explaining feelings or reopening the relationship. Short, clear sentences work best.
If there are practical loose ends, such as belongings or a shared lease, say how those will be handled without direct contact, for example through a friend or by mail.
Your safety comes first
If your ex has been violent, has threatened you, or you feel afraid, a letter may not be the right first step. Contact local police, and consider a domestic violence hotline or local victim services program, which can help with safety planning and protective orders.
Courts in every state offer some type of protective or restraining order, and many have advocates who help people fill out the paperwork. A history of contact after you asked it to stop can support that request.
After you send it
Do not reply to further messages, even to remind them about the letter. Save every message, call record and screenshot, and note the dates of any visits. Block numbers and accounts if that helps you, but save evidence first.
If you share children, a cease and desist letter cannot override parenting arrangements. Limit contact to what is needed about the children, ideally in writing or through a co-parenting app, and talk to the family court about any problems.
What to do, step by step
Write down what happened
List the dates, places and messages involved before you start. Save screenshots, URLs, voicemails and copies of anything that shows the conduct.
Fill in your letter
Answer the questions above. Describe the conduct factually and say exactly what you want the other person to do — vague demands are easy to ignore.
Keep the tone calm and firm
Avoid insults, exaggeration and threats you don't intend to carry out. A measured letter is more persuasive and looks better if it is ever shown to a judge.
Send it in a way you can prove
Mail it by certified mail with return receipt, and email a copy if you have an address. Keep a copy of the letter and the receipt together.
Decide on your next step
If the deadline passes and the conduct continues, keep documenting it. Depending on the situation, that may mean a police report, a protective order, a takedown notice or a claim in court.
What if they ignore your cease and desist letter?
A cease and desist letter is not a court order, so it can't force anyone to stop on its own. What it does is put the other person on clear, dated notice — which matters later, because continuing after a written warning is often treated as deliberate.
Your next step depends on the conduct. Ongoing harassment or threats can be reported to the police, and many courts offer civil protection or anti-harassment orders that people can request without legal help. For copied photos or writing, most websites and hosting companies have a copyright takedown process. Defamation, trademark and business disputes are usually resolved in civil court, where a judge can award damages or order the conduct to stop.
Whatever you do next, keep every message and record. Your letter, your proof of mailing and a log of what happened afterward are the core of any complaint or claim.
Example cease and desist letter to an ex
A filled-in sample with made-up details, so you can see the finished result.
Dana Whitfield
742 Cedar Lane, Riverton, OH 44101
October 5, 2026
Jordan Price
2210 Hillcrest Dr, Apt 8, Riverton, OH 44107
Re: Cease and desist — Continuing to contact me after being told to stop
Dear Jordan Price,
I am writing to formally demand that you stop the conduct described below. Since approximately August 15, 2026, you have engaged in the following: Continuing to contact me after being told to stop.
We ended our relationship on August 10. Since then you have sent me more than 100 text messages, created new social media accounts to message me after I blocked you, and came to my apartment on September 18 and October 2. On August 15 I told you in writing that I wanted no further contact.
This conduct is unwelcome and unauthorized, and it must stop immediately. I specifically ask that you:
Stop contacting me by any means, including new accounts, friends or family members, and do not come to my home or workplace. Return my belongings by leaving them with my sister at an agreed time.
Please confirm in writing, within 10 days of the date of this letter (by October 15, 2026), that you have done so and that the conduct will not continue.
I have kept records of this conduct, and I am keeping a copy of this letter and proof of delivery. If the conduct continues or I do not receive your written confirmation by that date, I intend to pursue the remedies available to me, which may include reporting the matter to the appropriate authorities or filing a claim in court.
I would prefer to resolve this without further action. Please direct any response to me in writing at the address above.
Sincerely,
Dana Whitfield
Frequently asked questions
Will a cease and desist letter stop my ex?
Many people stop once they receive a formal written demand. Some do not. If the contact continues, the letter becomes evidence that you clearly told them to stop, which is helpful when you report it to police or ask a court for a protective order.
Can I include a demand to return my belongings?
Yes. Add it to the demands field and suggest a way to return them without contact, such as leaving them with a friend or shipping them. If they refuse, small claims court may be an option for property of value.
My ex is posting about me online. Does this letter cover that?
Yes. Describe the posts and ask that they be removed. If the posts include private images shared without your consent, most states have specific laws against that, and the platforms usually remove such content quickly when reported.
Is a cease and desist letter legally binding?
No. It is a formal written demand, not a court order, so the recipient isn't legally required to obey it. It still matters: it shows you asked clearly, gives the person a chance to stop, and creates evidence that any later conduct was knowing rather than accidental.
Can I write a cease and desist letter myself?
Yes. Anyone can send one — there's no special form or license needed. What makes it effective is being specific: identify the conduct, the dates, what you want stopped, and a deadline. Many people send their own letter first and seek legal help only if the conduct continues.
FairLetter is not a law firm and does not provide legal advice. Letters are templates you customize and send yourself.